


C is for Choas

by ThatRandomFail



Series: ABCs of Family [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Baby Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Chaotic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Dark Sides As Family (Sanders Sides), Fluff, Kid Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, M/M, Tired Deceit | Janus Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:28:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29978088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatRandomFail/pseuds/ThatRandomFail
Summary: A day in the life of the Sanders family: some shopping, evil schemes, baby laughter and of course a couple heart attacks thrown in for variety!Part of a series but can be read as a stand alone!
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Series: ABCs of Family [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2156484
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	C is for Choas

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Going to be completely honest, this is has like no plot whatsoever. I literally just wanted to write about a baby side being cute. That's kinda it, haha! Patton and Roman are dating with their son Logan but that isn't really said in this fic but Remus and Janus then just kinda rely on them to teach them to be parents.  
> Thanks for reading!

“Ah, quite! The decision for which juice to buy is indeed a grave decision… Ah, but thankfully I have a brilliant way to help me decide. Maybe if I stroke my long beautiful baby beard enough then I can better d-”

“Can you behave for once in your life, Reem!” Janus finally snapped and turned to see Remus paused mid movement of stroking his ‘baby beard’. His baby beard, of course, was Virgil with his legs hooked round his head and him awkwardly holding him upside and while stroking over Virgil’s face. Obviously. Virgil looked mixed between this being the most fun he’s ever had and also this being the worst experience in his very little life. 

“But baby beard…” Remus whined.

“Reem! Before you set him off,” Janus fished out the packet of spinach from the trolley and papped his arm with it before turning and continuing to shop. Well…

Until Virgil released a burst of squealing childish belly laughter. 

And before they knew it, both of them were melted puddles in the middle of the shop. “What was that about Virge?” Remus laughed and brought him upright to his face, pressing kisses across his nose. As usual, he kicked his feet and shook his head, “Are you and daddy teaming up against me?”

“As he rightfully should.” Janus rolled his eyes. 

“Oh can we grab some hot chocolate? I’ve been in the mood for it!” Remus dramatically reached across the entire aisle, making extra sure he bumped into Janus, and pulled some off the shelf and threw it into the trolley obnoxiously.

“Oh!” Janus sighed.

“What!” Remus exasperated, with a very obvious mischievous grin.

“You. Are. A. Nightmare.” Janus grabbed the spinach again and hit him with every word, causing Virgil to practically wet himself in laughter. He only managed for two hits before he was giggling too. 

“More like you’re the nightmare. You’re supposed to be on my side, tiny terror!” Remus giggled. 

“Oh he’s lovely, what’s his name?” A lady smiled widely at his laughter and walked on over, exaggeratedly waving at him. Janus instantly stepped forward knowing that Remus was useless at baby conversation.

“His name is Virgil,” Janus’ replied in the most sickenly sweet voice.

“Wow, that’s a fancy ol’ name!” She cleared her throat, that was pretty much everyone’s response to his name, “How old is he now? He’s a tiny little thing!”

“Just passed eight months. Slowly trying to move on to solids and he’s had his first steps. So he’s racing ahead really,” Janus smiled and went to keep moving his trolley in a polite way of asking her to go away.

“Aw, bless. Well bye bye sweetie!” She waved again but Virgil kept his head buried into Remus’ neck. As per usual for these interactions. 

They shopped around for the rest of their shopping with some more low level chaos and maybe one more appearance of Remus’ baby beard. Janus then found every reason in the known universe to hit Remus with the packet of spinach. It was once they were at the cashier that Janus finally plucked Virgil from his arms, saying that they were going to grab another couple of items and would meet at the car. 

“Okay Virge. This is incredibly important,” Janus spoke seriously to which Virgil slapped a hand over his face, “Your daddy has been so lovely to have been the one visiting you at night this week hasn’t he? Every time you needed a change or just felt like screaming at four in the morning. Have you loved seeing daddy at night?” He had long stopped being embarrassed from baby talking. What was the point in kids if not to talk to yourself out loud without judgement. 

“So we’re going to get him a little treat yeah? What do you think daddy would like?” Janus muttered as he stood awkwardly in the way of all the aisles. “A food treat or a thing treat?” 

Virgil of course stuffed his fist in his mouth as he fiddled with the golden clasp on his capelet. 

“Ah, he does like his food, doesn’t he. Hmm, but food isn’t a very big treat. I think he’d like a thing rather than a food. Thank you for your grand effort though.” Janus moved away from the food aisles and just starting wondering around. Remus needed something nice for all that effort. It sounds like such a small thing, it wasn’t like Virgil woke up many times during the night anymore, but it meant the world. He had been so absolutely stressed recently despite there not being any actual good reason! His adoption leave wasn’t up yet, Virgil was finally starting to sleep more than a couple hours at a time, and things had generally been peaceful. But yet he was waking up every day with a low burning headache, his eczema had flared up and felt sore constantly, and while he slept the whole night through it always felt like he had never actually slept. Remus had been his Remus self and happily stood in while Janus tried to get a grip. He deserved a special gift. 

Father’s day was long gone but yet there was a discount shelf of a random assortment of the most stereotypical manly items. He scrunched his nose but looked through anyway. He did pause on the facial hair kit but they already got him that for Father’s day itself for his little puny moustache. Of course there was no chocolate left but there was chipped manly mugs and tiny screwdriver sets. Nothing that Remus would be interested in. 

They walked away with a thoughtful hum and a very wet gurgle. Janus carried them around before the most brilliant little thought entered his mind and he whispered this to Virgil before zipping over to the clothes. It was so obvious! How dare he not think about this immediately! 

Janus had a red dressing gown. Now that sounds perfectly ordinary and not in the least exciting. But he deliberately got the most stereotypical evil rich person red gown. To show how much effort he had put into this villain look, he learned how to embroider so he could even have an emblem on the pocket. It was very wonky and shoddy but the golden yellow snake symbol that he designed as a cringey edgy 19 year old, was his pride and joy. He’s had the gown now for a good couple of years and every single time Remus saw it, he actually looked love struck. And Janus knew personally how if they were anywhere near a similar size, then he’d never see it again. But instead Remus was a literal bean pole and it looked awkwardly small. 

Remus absolutely deserves his own evil master dressing gown. 

He passed the boring regular black ones and he did pause at the exact same red one but he kept looking. He froze on the spot at the grungy green dressing gown. Flicking through them to find the biggest size, he realised that Virgil had been strangely silent. Virgil was sat in his arms looking positively enraptured. His little fist clutched at one of the dressing gowns and he was leaning awkwardly to brush his other hand along the fuzzy fluff. His eyes were wide open. 

“Hah, you alright there Virge? Huh?” Janus cooed and pressed a kiss to his fist, “you’ve been super playful today. You’ll probably collapse when we get home. Not that I can blame you.”

After paying, he buried it in a bag and joined a very bored and clueless Remus in the car. He knew the perfect plan. They were going to get home and do their regular day stuff. Then Remus would probably go put down Virgil in the evening, they would do their usual evening thing (pretending they would party all night and make the most of their child being asleep but really it would get to 8pm and they would go to bed themselves) and then… then he would spring this on him. They would get changed into pjs and he would show him the dressing gown. They could then sit downstairs all cozy and watch TV while sleepily cuddling while looking like the badass villains they are. 

As they started carting all the shopping into the house, Janus placed Virgil in the living room and helped Remus unpack- of course not before running away casually to hide the dressing gown beside their bed. As he hid the bag, he winked and did the shh motion to Virgil. His accomplice in treating his husband was with him until the end. He didn’t really think about it. 

Being sat on the blanket on the floor, Virgil whipped around. Both of his dads were fussing around in the kitchen. They had left his teddy in the car. His dad had shown him exactly where the best fluffy dressing gown was. Virgil looked around at the scattered toys. It all seemed so boring. But he knew exactly what was fun… the dressing gown. 

Virgil had his first steps already, much to the dramatic tears of his dads, but he still preferred to crawl. And he could crawl fast. Without another second thought, Virgil launched up to the stairs. He could still hear his dads bickering in the kitchen so he was fine. If he wasn’t fine to do something then they would grab him. And they’re not grabbing him! 

Crawling- no problem. However, stairs was another topic. He had yet to ever try the stairs. There was always arms grabbing him before he could ever get close. The baby gate was wide open from when his dad took them both to hide the gown. He sat at the base of the stairs for awhile. But his dads wouldn’t raise a quitter! 

Virgil took his time thinking before he clumsily slapped his hands down on the first step and eventually clambered his way up. It took all his concentration to pull himself up. There wasn’t a whole lot of space to get steady before climbing the next step. It was lucky that he didn’t really look back, if he did then he most definitely would start to cry with how high he was. It took a good few minutes of clumsy movements before Virgil finally paused at the top of the stairs. 

Stairs- done!

After a minute of tiredly rubbing his eyes and taking in the sight of the upstairs from this angle, Virgil finally started to crawl towards his parent’s bedroom door. The door was ajar. 

Now this was truly the moment… a moment of sheer peace and amazement passed over Virgil as he tore into the paper bag and buried himself thoroughly in the dressing gown. 

Now, of course, no one could blame Virgil for feeling his eyes droop and slowly drifting to sleep with the sleeve stuck in his mouth. 

“What are we doing for dinner?” Remus asked as he finished putting away the eggs.

“Not a clue, any requests?” Janus replied as he shoved his hair over to the side. 

“Hmm… nothing in particular? We have some leftover chili,” Remus walked over and pulled Janus into his arms. The idea sparked in his mind and he did not have the self control to stop himself. The pulled Janus away from the counter and flapped Janus’ arms around to point to the freezer, where the chili was. Thankfully, Janus didn’t react and only smiled.

“And the munchkin can have munchkin mush,” Janus agreed with a nod. 

“Speaking of the munchkin…” Remus trailed off and quietly burst into the living room. Now, he fully expected to see Virgil smiling at his dramatics or frowning as he interrupted his playing. He wasn’t at all prepared for the nothing in the living room, “Uh, hey J? Where did you put baby V?”

“On his blanket!” Janus called from the kitchen.

“Huh.” Remus shrugged and starting hunting. Ever since the boy had learned to crawl, he had been unstoppable. Groaning like the old man dad he was becoming with each passing day, he bent down low and checked under the table. 

He also checked beside the coffee table and behind the curtains. The hallway and stairway was clear too. They definitely would have seen if Virgil clambered into the kitchen. Remus had been calling him every few seconds. There was an uncomfortable pit in his stomach. 

“Heeeeey JJ!” Remus swung into the kitchen on the door with a beautiful dazzling smile to charm his soon to be scared husband.

“Oh sweet lord what has happened now?” Janus didn’t even turn around.

“So, please keep calm and remember your breathing techniques. I can’t find Virgil,” Remus carefully spoke. Janus only rolled his eyes and walked into the living room with a childish sweet call of their baby’s name. He grimaced as he joined him. Of course, it didn’t take long for Janus to come to the same conclusion as he did. 

“Where on earth could he be! He must be in the flat,” Janus muttered angrily as he lifted up a cushion as if he wouldn’t be able to tell if his baby was hiding behind it. Remus winced but kept looking himself. He wasn’t an idiot. Virgil must be in the flat. Obviously! But that pit in his stomach lingered, “Text Pat.”

“What? Why would Pat know anything about where Virgil is in our flat?” 

“I don’t know! I’m panicking!” Janus now shoved his hands in his hair angrily and shoved it out of his face. Remus only nodded and opened his texts. At least Patton was too polite to ever bully them for the stupid question he’s about to ask.

**PatPat**

Hey Pat. Virgil’s wandered off in the flat. J is panicking. Any advice?

_Heya Remus! Baby’s do that, they can get in the funniest places sometimes. Did Ro ever tell you about the time Logan climbed a tree and we searched for him for like an hour._

yeah, didn’t Ro cry out of panic?

_It was emotional._

Anyway! Actual advice!

_There’s not much advice I can give! Do you want us to come round? I am free today._

Nah. 

Keep you updated.

_Coolio_

“He say anything?” Janus asked with desperation.

“Okay, we need to take a breath here,” Remus finally put his foot down and coached Janus to sit down with him, “He’s definitely in the flat. No one could’ve grabbed him. He was all hyper in the shop so he’s probably not responding because he’s asleep.”

Janus nodded along and practised their breathing exercise. But he made sure they only sat for a minute maximum, “What should we do?”

“We can try upstairs?” Remus carefully spoke.

And he was completely right to brace himself, “Oh really! You really think he managed to climb up all those stairs by himself. You think he just got up on his stumpy little baby legs and walked up the stairs all willy nilly. Do you think this is helping by reminding of the fact that he could’ve tried and fell down the stairs!”

“Okay,” Remus said peacefully as he grabbed Janus’ hand, “We already checked the landing so we would know if he was hurt. C’mon, the more places we cross off the closer we are to figuring this out.”

So, after all that worry and heart attacks, both fathers were completely stunned to see Virgil curled up tight in Remus’ new dressing gown safe and sound. Just laying there. All happy and cozy. As if this was just a totally normal event. 

It was both the cutest and most infuriating thing ever.

“So… we may have gotten you a surprise?” Janus was the first to gain some semblance of sense. He whispered as he quietly stepped into their room. 

“Aw, my very own baby!” Remus cheered as he gently and with exact precision, picked Virgil up with the dressing gown. He pulled the sleeve from his mouth and smoothed one finger across his baby son’s smooth little chubby cheek. 

“Yes. Congrats. It’s a nightmare,” Janus laughed as he pulled himself into their little hug.

“Seriously though, why did you get me this? I mean thanks, but this seems out of the blue!”

“Just for helping out and letting me br-”

“Oh J, I don’t need to be thanked just because I’m doing the bare minimum of helping you during an anxiety flare up.” Remus pressed Janus into a tight hug, trapped their sleeping nightmare between their chests. They both lingered. Just standing there. Janus burrowing into his warm chest and Remus taking a moment to just take in his husband. God they really were love sick teenagers. 

“Do you want to hear something funny?” Remus whispered into his hair.

“Hmm?”

“I only bought that hot chocolate as a surprise for you, because I know you’d never buy it yourself,” Remus smiled as Janus burst into chuckles.

“You simp,” He laughed, “But then again, I was told once that hot chocolate is the cure to life.”

“Whoever said that must’ve been really smart!” Remus chirped with a wink as he walked away to actually put Virgil down for a nap. 


End file.
